Princess and the Pee

Mom: "How about if you are the princess, from Princess and the Pea, for your birthday party?"
Natalie: "I don't want to be Princess and the Pee!"
Natalie a few moments later: "Is it real pee?"

Qualified

Gma describing teaching music class to four year-olds: "All I did was take those kids to the bathroom. You don't need to know music to teach that class, you just have to know how to flush toilets."

Dad: "...and wipe butts."

Haley: "Mom can do that."

Jib Jab

Haley: "Today I scared Ryan. I scared the jibbers out of him."

Raising Arizona

Paul: "Her dad is a rancher; he raises cows."

Natalie: "Wow..was it heavy?"

Toilet Pig

Natalie: "Dad, will these wipes hog the toilet?"

Happy Kid

Natalie: "I like myself."

Dad: "I like yourself too; you're a good kid."

Close Enough

Natalie: "Satan has three names: Lucifer, Satan, and The Double."